sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
