His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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