i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
