bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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