I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Randomize
