the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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