I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
It was confusing and full of hummus
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
