I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
