She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
