you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Naked Twister starts at high noon
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
