you would pick up someone in the library
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
