The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
