if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
