I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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