My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize