If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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