it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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