the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
