and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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