dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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