i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize