He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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