Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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