I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize