Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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