Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
