the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
