Can Purell be used as lube?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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