Yo dont text me then not text me
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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