I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i out mim tonsoeep
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