I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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