I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Randomize
