forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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