Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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