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just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
