I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
