yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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