i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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