Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
