sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
