Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
