I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
oh god was she eating orange peels again
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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