so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
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I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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