there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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