i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think i got beer on your cat.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
