idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
