remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
