whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize