mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
