dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
