I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
