not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
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Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
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I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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