i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
