So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
