i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
