if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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