That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
