OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
