hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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