He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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