i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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