Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
