I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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