with your own penis?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
