3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I met the friendliest cop last night
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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